hungry hungry hungry

Finally talked to Tim about living together. Last night he finally got it out of me that I was mad our moving in together is contingent upon when Jon wants to move out. He said of course it was and he didn't see the problem so I walked out. He went to bed and I stayed in the living room for an hour and a half. It was the first time he's gone to bed without me (when at his apartment together) and the first time I've wanted it that way.
This morning when he got up for work he was already late so he went slower than normal. He said he was upset I left because we always go to sleep together and it was unfair I stormed out. When I told him it was only the first time I hadn't gone to bed when he did and that he used to do it all the time to me he didn't have anything to say back. I didn't expect anything really anyway.
Then we started talking about why I was so upset last night. Its just so stupid. He said he doesn't want to live with me until he graduates from college which I understand and don't care about. What I care about is that if we moved in together in October its just because Jon is leaving, like.. He's not trying. He's letting it be thrust upon him instead of actually choosing when to do it. He didn't tell me he wanted to wait, if he had I would of been fine. The problem is I want it because I want to live with him, I'm not planning to move in with him because its easier or because its convenient. I'm doing it because I've put thought and feelings and emotion in to my decision and it just really hurts to hear that for him its so casual.
I know casual is the wrong word because he thinks moving in together is the step before engagement. The thing before you get married. And there isn't anything wrong with that. There really isn't, its just not how I saw it.
I'm so confused. Its casual when we move in because if we do in October its only 2 months short of him graduating so he thinks its not that big of a deal... I guess my feelings are just hurt because we didn't talk about any of this sooner. I just had in my mind what was going to happen and I thought he was ok with it. I don't think I did anything wrong though because I've been open and honest about how I've felt and he never said no.
Ugh.


Anyway. I'm so freaking hungry. I have no money left though so I cant go get anything. This is one of the worst feelings. I cant afford to take care of myself and it's killing me. If I don't get that job for the end of the month I don't know what I'll do... Hopefully Saturday goes well..